In the middle of the sea

 

Hair rippling and waving  hysterically , my whole body damp and cold , I stand on a slippery rock with no one around . Waves hit the rock and splashes above , trying to reach me , leaving only a few droplets over my feet ,spraying . The salty air circles me making the dampness get onto me sending a bond deep chill . Yet I stand there motionless with my mind trying to clear away the fog surrounding it . I feel tied but my hands are free . I raise them and begin to stroke the breeze around me , trying to break open the veil of air that has imprisoned me . A ray of sunlight ripping open the dark clouds fell on my face , the only ray of light in the dark watery prison around me . The warmth of the sun loosens the cold , clutching my face allowing me to feel the blood running in the veins . A sudden realization that a boat dropped me here , makes me turn back and I find nothing but water splashing around as if dancing in fun .

The boat came for me when I was in the shore , and waits till I decide after a long time to board it . I chose this place , I let the others leave me , I left them ,to be here , to be alone in this rock . I couldn’t remember why . I didn’t chart my course well and I allowed a few dark things make me this decision . I realized , no one is coming back for me . The loneliness is making me shiver in fear . I drop down to my knees and bury my face in my damp hands . Tears started running down my face , tears of fury , tears of fear and loneliness . A lump has formed in my throat and I scream , I scream so hard , so loud , but it is carried away by the sea . It sounded nothing but a squeak .

The only ray of warmth and hope vanishes and what once appeared as a calm sea turned wild . The waves now splash with rage and they have reached me , drenching my whole body . Its as if the waves are hitting me from all around piercing me with a sharp sting of coldness .  The clouds turn to a dangerous grey signaling a ruthless storm .The lightning spreading out its branches and spear like edges , teases me and the thunder , drums fear down my heart . They want me to surrender , to bow down and accept the failure I am .  I crossed my hand around my chest , trying to comfort my pounding heart and my agitated mind .The stormy wind makes it hard for me to stand . If only , if only I let go , they will carry me away to an endless oblivion . But I don’t want them to . I don’t .

I try to bring my feet up , to stand  , the anger in me , anger of making the wrong decision , anger of whining over the past , anger of not letting go and anger of cowardice to face my problems fuelling me to stand my fort and fight . With this new found resolve I stare at the wild endless sea , the fog around my mind clearing out , allowing me to think . The booming thunder reduces its rigor and the lighting thin and weak . I close my eyes and  try to calm my mind  . It worked , it finally worked , I am muting down the noise around me , the sounds that scared me are no more and the waves aren’t strong as before . A voice at the back of my mind says , “The turmoil and agitation is in you . Let go ….Let go” , in soft soothing voice . I tried to and a sudden brightness and loud horn , makes me open my eyes and I found a white sea-gull flying towards me , directly towards me , and behind it a boat , a boat to take me out .