A New Leaf

I know why you did this and I do know why you are still alive .

I did a mistake. I knew you would want to do something like this, so I came to you . You did not respond and so I broke in and found you falling over. You reached for something that I could not see . I shouted your name, but you fell deep down inside you.

You were then brought to this hospital .

Did you seek death? I mean, you did, or else why would you have taken the pills? What I'm trying to ask is did you really want to die, or were you just trying to escape from something?

You hid everything, you kept it a secret, but I read your thoughts. You cried a lot. The insults, the betrayal , the loss and everything. You told all of your friends that you didn’t care, but I saw it in your eyes. They have slowly been turning gray. I was the only one , you allowed to talk about it. Now, every time I try, you become stiff or try to push me away. I just wanted to help you. But you eventually forgot me.

You also don't eat that much anymore and I know that you've been throwing up a lot. I can tell that you have lost a lot of weight and blood and something special. Don't think that I haven't seen the scars covering your legs and arms. Maybe you can hide these things from everyone else, but not from me. I can't believe that I didn't notice them sooner; there were so many. I tried to talk to you about them today, but, you kept away from me. 

This has been slowly growing over the past month, and I tried to tell some people, but I didn't . Of course, they would ask you right afterwards if there was a problem, and you, always, said no.

 I thought that you would listen to me now. If not now, then never. Realize that you are not fooling others, but you. Your parents love you, Isnt that enough?

They gave up trying to look out for you. I'm sorry to tell you, that it was you who ignored their love.

Well, I don't think that you should change one bit. I love you just the way you are, and that's why I noticed the things that other people didn't.

I found out , after you started isolating yourself, that you were moving towards the dark.

I know that you are different and wounded for being so.

I applaud you for being an individual and trying to be yourself, but I am also disappointed in you. If you wanted to, you could have still fought for you, claiming your place, the rightful place, the one you deserve . But you gave up so easily. I would have stood by you. But you forgot me.

No one deserves that  amount of pain, and it's easy to see why you are in the hospital right now.

I'm glad that you are not dead. I could not live without you. Your death would have made them win. It's a wretched thought, but they want you out. This is how they survive. Those heartless beings.

You have been slipping into the darkness because of the uniqueness. Those who aren’t ,pushed you in .This society had always ignored and teased people like you , Innovative and different . They don’t try to come out of the box.

Please, come back to the light and be who you were meant to be. Who you always have been.

I always look up to you. I will be with you from now . With me , you can succeed , break open the clutches  and be in light , always .

I know that it is hard, but soon you will win. You will be able to grow and win. You will meet good people, and gradually your life will change, for good .

You have a kind heart and amazing personality. That is what , keeps you alive .

I pity them for not knowing how truly great you are.

You may ask where I had been all these days.  As I told you I made a mistake . I shouldn’t have abandoned you even if you had  ignored me .

Call me by any name you want , faith / hope / will .

I promise that I will be with you and aid you in the journey ahead .

Lets start a new life .